- Listen - he/she will have questions and may very well feel confused. Listen with an open & honest ear. Share your feelings & embrace your child's as well. Let your child know what feelings are normal, and help your child understand you acknowledge his/her feelings.
- Tell him/her what to expect - If you are a parent, share with your child their schedule if they will be going to two different homes. Help him/her make a list of things they would like to have at both homes. Bring personal items to both homes, i.e. pictures, special toys/stuffed animals, music, etc. Talk about who will drop him/her off to school, what house he/she will be sleeping at, etc.
- Give your child tools to cope - Talk to your child about what they can do when times get tough. Journaling, going to a "special" spot in the home, looking at a photo album, reading a book, painting, etc are some ways to release these emotions in a healthy manner.
- Explain to your children that divorce is forever (usually). They do not initially understand that their parents will not get back together in the future. Tell your child why it is not helpful to stay together for him/her. They may think, "shouldn't they stay married for me?" and it's imperative to teach them the reasons this is not healthy for them or you.
- Your love for your child does not change when your love for your spouse may; children need to hear this. Have multiple conversations about your unconditional love for them, i.e. "no matter what mom and dad are going through, we will both love you forever - no matter what. Nothing will ever change that!". The security of your child will be tested when a divorce is in progress, so it's necessary to focus on expressing your love physically and verbally to eliminate any guilt or blame and foster positive and peaceful thoughts from your child.
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Building character in children is not an easy task. Here are some useful tips that should help your child become an empathic, loving, and warm natured citizen.
- On his/her birthday have your child donate their old toys to a charity or family
- Participate in a beach/neighborhood clean-up
- Give him/her chores appropriate for their age
- Buy/check out books that teaches children about character
- Role play with your child(ren) and give them various "what-if" scenarios
- Be a role model for your child(ren) (they listen to and watch everything, so choose your words and actions wisely)
- When they don't make the sports team, get a bad grade, didn't get the part in the play, or didn't accomplish the goal that they set out for, help them build resiliency by reviewing what they did wrong in order to get it right the next time.
- Lastly, celebrate the "Grey Area" (the effort your child put forth to achieve a goal that was not attained) it helps boost self-esteem and self-worth.
We hope you find these tips useful, feel free to comment!
Monday, March 8, 2010
Have You Filled a Bucket Today: A Guide to Daily Happiness for Kids - Carol McCloud
Monday, March 1, 2010
In todays world it is important to have character in order to be successful and reach your full potential. Here's an acronym that pinpoints essential components of good character.